Friday night was a movie night with SLM. Original plan to see Law Abiding Citizen didn't pan out because apparently the Edmonton Journal is unreliable when it comes to correct movie times, so we ended up seeing Couples Retreat. Not one of my first choices to see, but I like Kristen Bell and Jason Bateman, and Larissa bought me a bag of M&M Peanuts, so I was down (Thanks L!). The theatre is small, but it's not too crowded, and we are able to find a spot where we'll have a few chairs to put our feet up and some chairs beside us as a buffer between us and the stairs/other patrons of the theatre. Halfway through the previews, an older woman and her middle age daughter walk all the way to the very top and ask if the seats beside me are taken. Being the polite person I am, I remove my purse and tell them they can sit there. WORST MISTAKE EVER. Not only do these people talk throughout the entire movie, midway through the woman beside me lets out a HUGE fart. Her daughter begins laughing hysterically (knee slapping included) and whispered loudly "Mom, did you fart?!" to which her mom responds by nodding and giggling. That wasn't the worst part. The stench that was emitted from this woman was absolutely horrid. I was so close to gagging and Larissa could even smell it a few seats over from me. Not only did this farting continue on throughout the movie, but they were distracting as hell. I was literally biting mmy lip to keep from saying something to them, and tried my hardest to focus on the movie. The night was made slighly better when L proclaimed that the little boy in the movie had a bad case of DSL. Now for those of you who are unaware of what that stands for, here is a quick definition for you:

DSL= Dick Sucking Lips

Last night was SLM weekend night numero dos. Our night started off at a Passion Party/Breast Cancer benefit. We had to introduce ourselves with an adjective related to the party. There was "Horny Hannah" and "Masterbater Marlena" and "Lascivious Larissa" but I'm a prude so I decided to stick to "Hottie Heather." After many laughs, and delicious pink alcoholic punch (so good) and cupcakes, we headed out to Kai on Jasper Ave where Larissa's friend was spinning. To say we were surprised by the amount of Ed Hardy/ Christian Audigier would be an understatement. We sat in the lounge portion of the restaurant and ate delicious food, before heading to the bathroom. In the bathroom was the most coked- out, fake everything girl that I've seen in the longest time. We had a talk about how warm it was in the restaurant, and she made the greatest revelation that I have ever heard. "I feel so restricted when I'm wearing pants." Kylie and I looked at each other, and tried so hard not to laugh. When Larissa was washing her hands, we had a conversation about how nice the paper towels in this place were. They were almost like real towels! Fake-blonde girl's friend turned around to look at us while her friend told her that we weren't talking about them. Her friend then said "I know, I can hear them. They're just jealous because you look so hott."

...

I wasn't sure how to react to this. So we grabbed our bags and left to go have martinis at Devlins. I fucking love people.